It was not my best birthday because of my own shitty decisions. It got me started on decisions. I've only started to feel better now that the day is over...by coincidence though. I feel like a horrible person who deserves the day I got but is still crying about it anyway.
So, a list of decisions for my Sixteenth Year:
I decide to not love you anymore. I decide to accept what I can't change, and to improve what I can. I decide to take stock once in a while of everyone around me. Someone making me feel like shit, distance. Someone I want to know more, reach out. I decide to not fill my head with things that may not even be true or things that have nothing to do with my life. I decide to try to use my time wisely. I decide to cry when it's appropriate once in a while, just to get it all out and move on. I also decide to take a deep breath and recognize there's nothing I can do/it wasn't my fault/I should simply improve myself from now on. I decide to take baby steps to putting in all my effort every day. I decide to love and feel the music and to not obsess over seeing or politics or the autograph. I decide to be polite and grateful. I decide to to not talk for the sake of talking. I decide to jump in without too much hesitation or thought. I decide to be interesting and leave them wanting more. I decide to attempt at being much more organized and having a clean and functional living space that makes me happy and never says "boring." I decide to find happier and more relevant things for songs and names and things and places to remind me of. I decide to try to recognize when daydreaming has gone too far. I decide to go with the flow and act like the young adult I am, even when my impulse to act younger and dumber or I don't get my way. I decide to be more considerate of other people and their feelings/thoughts/plans. I decide to not be annoying and think about what I say before I speak. I decide to work on making myself a better me so I can make my world better.
