Tomorrow is my last real day of school before finals. I don't feel happy. I don't feel relieved. I feel stressed and pissed most of the time. But when I frget about little bitches, it's okay. It's really okay.
This year has been so fucked. But I survived. I survived. And my pride in that is more than I've felt in a long time.
This year I gained and lost friends. Kept in touch with old ones, had a consistent and wonderful best friend, met tons of new people. Started high school. Went to the bin. Started a new school. Found a whole new world. Felt stupid and naive. Was manipulated. Felt accepted and understood. Lost my balance. Dealt with drama and backstabbing. I got a gay! Danced. Sang, screamed, laughed. Got better at makeup. Became a chain smoking, night prowling fiend. Got exposed to so much. Felt what it's like to be liked for the first time and loved it. Got involved with a bad news boy. Did regrettable things. Recovered. Got drunk off my ass. Did more regrettable things. I shoplifted and was basically a deliquent. But it was fun. This year was a learning year. And now I am back to kind of where I was a year ago, wishing for tea and books and gardens and summer and hippie life and parties. I am looking forward to starting over...again. I realized tonight after looking into another life I would miss my own too much. Shows and friends and porch parties. This is where I belong, where ever this is. I need to do things here before I can go. More and more that's okay. So goodbye, my Freshman year of high school. You were interesting. Thank you.
