I feel really guilty today and I'm kind of living in fear of when my mother gets home. It's a swirly acidic feeling in my stomach. For some reason I am expecting the worst today.

I KNOW I have to go back...I'm just filled with anxiety and dread. I. Don't. Want. To. And I know there's no getting around that; I just have to do it. But I'm scared. And I hate myself for being so scared. I just can't...but I know I CAN. And to top it off I don't have any of my shit done, so I'm screwed there. Bitching from teachers + horrible people = misery. I know I'm fucked and I'm going to be up there all summer. Even worse.

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