Sometimes I feel very simple and other times I feel like this strange and complex creature. I don't understand it. At times it's all very clear and okay who I want to be, and the other times I'm lost in my own mind, caught up in a mess of wanting. I focus on Buddhism, cleansing, pure living, inner peace, and usually I have none of those. I want cigarettes and parties and glamour. I don't get it.
Just need to take it one day at a time and try to have a good day today. I feel ill.
We're going to the dog park...good friends always make me feel better. I just want it to last.
