It's really windy outside. It's calming but I don't know why. I want to dye my hair, cut it, do crazy things to it. But I can't. I must hold back until May. 5 months of holding who I am back. Dear God. It just hurts to be so suffocated all the time. I hate it.
I want it to be summer, or better yet, spring. I've been in a very light, happy, content, carefree, hippie, "spring" mood for the past few days. It's been interesting. I'm experimenting. I said this before, didn't I? Oh well.
But tonight I feel bitchy and vaguely pissed off at the world. Hmm. Whatever. Life is just blah at the moment, but there's change inside me and I feel it. I'm more daring and just...different. But I'm SO afraid that when I go back to school all that will go out the door. I just need to get over my fear and live, I suppose.
I love my friends. I feel close to some, not so close to others. Things and people change. Things are changing.
I'm growing and becoming the person I'm meant to be.
Decisions.
"Stab My Back..."
Yeah.
