ok, now i have been a long-time fashion magazine reader/aspiring fashionista; the larger than life clothing and photos have always appealed to me. hunkering down on the couch/bed/whatever with my ipod, a pen and note pad, and that month's issues of teen vogue, glamour, jane, cosmo girl(or any other fabulous fashion publication) is one of my favorite things to do. i love diving in and learning what i'll be seeing around that season, which celebrities' styles i'll grow sick of seeing copied, and the stories that have captivated editors enough to be put in a major publication. the best part for me is probably picking out my favorite photo shoots, models, items of clothing, and all over 'looks,' and stringing together what i consider to be what will represent me in the next coming months.
i guess i enjoy taking the trendy pieces and figuring out how to(if i had the money to actually buy these pieces and wear them) make them "Lola." Creating something fantastic and original out of pieces everyone will have, and pairing them with pieces i already own. it's all very fascintaing to me, the process of creating one's own 'style.' what inspired that certain model to pair that dangeroulsy short skirt with those amazing shoes? what went on in her head when she got dressed that morning? was it a photo she saw? a movie? one of her favorite, feel-good songs that inspired her? we will never know. the secrets of her particular style are her own. and the same applies to everyone, really. no one can guess why that girl walking down the street chose the bright green shirt dress she's currently wearing. and i'm sure shelikes it that way. every girl likes to portray a little 'mystery' when revealing style secrets. we like to leave a lot to the imagination when it comes to how we got to be so fabulous.
and like a certain 'style,' every girl(at least girls in the public eye whom people might look up to) has something about them that makes them, well.....them. little things that people immediatley identify them with; personality traits or talents. anything that they can call their own.
i realized today that i am not one of those girls. and it has nothing to do with not being famous or in the public eye. come to think of it, EVERY girl does have something that makes them 'them.' the point is, i don't. i have nothing that sets me apart from every other girl. take this totally made up interview that took place in my head with a totally imaginary important-fashion magazine-editor-type-working some sort of contest which i entered(only not really) for example:
Editor: tell us, Lola, what do you do that might set you apart from the other contestants. what are you good at?
Lola: I write.
E(with a little knowing chuckle): yes, that's nice, but a lot of people can write.
L: but i've been published.
E: many people have been published, too.
L: but i'm so young! surely that says something.
E: yes, i suppose so. now, so you have any signature....i don't know, 'traits,' if you will. what makes you special?
L: ummm......i kinda have this alter ego. her name is lola, whose name i went by today. she's kinda like this fun, insane, wild, fabulous, badass rocker chick who hitchhikes across the world with her band of cohorts, collecting stories and adventures. she's the girl in the back of the club, holding court at the biggest table, ruling over her posse. she's this amazing, mysterious enigma. until she like, opens her mouth. then she's the kinda neroutic, quirky & sweet girl everyone wants to be. she's so complex, really.
E: oh i see! well you know, when you say 'alter egos,' people might just see that as a multiple personality disorder. insanity isn't exactly original, honey.
L: i guess so.....well then i don't seem to have anything that.....'WOW!" about me.
E: then i guess now you're just wasting my time. NEXT!
so yeah. i have nothing. if that interview was real, that's EXACTLY how it would go. i'm not this dazzingly fascinating person like i want to be. i'm this almost boring, kinda weird girl from the midwest. nothing special. i'm just.....this oxymorom of a girl. making a list of 'interesting' and 'unique' things about me, i get about 3 things. even then it's like, "i didn't know they had internet access in the psych ward!"
god, it's all so....depressing, dude. i'm serious. well that was really long, so i'm gonna stop now. go and thing about this for a bit. then realize i need sleep and then proceedto pass out. peace, y'all.
