i saw this online today and i thought it described me perfectly. (but keep in mind this ins't mine.)
"Here We Go. Now I usually just put random things about me in here. Its somewhere in between scaring you off and trying to impress you. But tonight, I'm not caring about you. About what you think or what you will say Here We Go, Truth. I lie. I lie to you so much. Always. Over half of what I tell you isnt even true. But I tell you everything, so it doesnt matter. I just want to have something to talk about. I like your sympathy. Give it to me. But dont expect any back. I love you. Probably a lot more than you know. I show it but I feel like sometimes people dont catch on like they should. I read books because they are books people I admire have read. I dont choose them according to what I think sounds good. I change my opinion based on theirs. I'm a good kid. Dont expect anything wild from me. I dont do much I shouldnt and do a lot a dont have to. I like your attention. I like it a lot. I dont know what to do with it, but I'm figuring it out. Everyone makes mistakes. Forgive mine and I'll reconsider yours. I dont want to be perfect, I want you to adapt to me. There is it. All layed out. "
so i think it's awesome. so i was kinda inspired to do my own thing like it. mine is more like a confessions type thing. things i've been needing to get off my chest:
-i realized today that i hate half of my friends.
-99% of the time when im asked if im ok & i say i am, im lying.
-i expect myself to fail. always.
-i'm terrified of rejection, failure, and staying in this place for the rest of my life.
- i can't stand listening to other people's problems. i don't care.
-i'm so much meaner than people think i am.(or hey, maybe they do.)
-my friends make me feel horrible about myself. and it's not what they say or do to me, it's just....them that makes me feel terrible. not to mention stupid in their presence.
-i can literally feel my IQ dropping when i hang with my friends about 80% of the time. no joke. i hate it/them.
-people at school think i hate them because i do. and if they asked and i said so to their faces, i wouldn't feel remorse, guilt-anything. i would feel so relieved. and the worst thing-i would say it to everyone except about 6 people.
-i really think-actually i know-that i didn't really deserve to be published. and i feel terrible when anyone wants to talk about it.
-i don't think i'm a good writer at all. people only have one stupid thing to go on, there's no real proof that i'm worthy of all this immediate praise whenever the subject comes up. just stop talking about it.
-I'm writing a book and only one person knows. it should stay that way. and i'm terrified. it's horrible. i can't just get anywhere with it. i'm not a competent writer at all. i shouldn't be writing this book but know i feel like i have to, for this one person.
*sigh* wow. i think too much came out. like, e-vomit or something. whatevs. i guess.....more tomorrow?
peaceloveandLola.
