I wish for my friends to find happiness. I think seeing and knowing they are happy would put my search on the back burner, the peace brought to me would eliminate all want.
I wish for one to be okay with being alone. For another to receive the independence she so desperately craves. One I've known for far too long to no longer accept complacency; to fight. A friend to no longer be guilted for a busy schedule.
I wish for full lives. And yet I know I cannot provide them. But I can help. Be a sounding board, a coach, an example, a cheerleader. A smile and hug at the end of the day. A cheap bottle of tequila and nicotine in the park. A release. All I wish is to give myself to a greater good. If I could touch a life in even the smallest of ways, I would know peace.
Gorgeous carnations, candles, soft and attention seeking kitties, mood rings, redecorating, dresses, plans for organization, comfy couches, Dr. Pepper, perfume, lovely and caring comments from pretty much strangers, firm to-do lists, planning outfits, new quotes and memories, mind blowing shows, tearing up at the pure and raw emotion and energy in a room and one of your favorite bands, the surprise of that feeling, knowing you're not ready for the next week to come but getting a butterfly feeling in your stomach about it; choosing to not call it anxiety but excitement instead.
Life right now.
