My sixteenth birthday is in eight days. It's quite monumental. Lounging in my fluffy big girl bed, I feel more put together and inspired than anyone.
But it's all wrong. It's 3:33 AM and I can't or won't sleep. It's a Sunday night and I have mountains of Spanish and Algebra work to do, an eight-piece Composition project due in two days that I forgot about, and a birthday party to plan that I feel is going to be more boring than fantastic on Friday. I just know that the party will be forced and lame and blah. And Halloween plans to bring about. I'm hating this week. I want it all to go away and my happiness from two hours ago to come back...but before that was the same frustration. What's wrong with me? My moods are all fucked up again. (At the moment) I just don't feel celebratory or happy. Maybe this Friday is too early considering no one wanted to talk to me about my only Sweet Sixteen party ever until I started yelling. Sucks.
But yes, hopefully this will pass. I started a magenta Moleskine in which I plan to write down weight loss things, design plans, sparkly things, and "The Starting Over." Went shopping yesterday for said fabulous bedding, got some fabulous things. Big baubles and necessary cosmetics, an adorable dress and came home with some serious Marc Jacobs and Philip Lim lust.
Because I'm getting happy again (What the FUCK, moods?!) I'm going to make a birthday wish list!
Birthday Wishlist:
-Gray Marc Jacobs wallet
-Juicy Couture keychain
-Or: gift cards, Nordstrom, Standard
-MAC gift card
-Macbook Pro 13 inch
-Flora by Gucci
-Canon Rebel T1i
That's all I can think of, which is quite a lot already, so I'll shut up. No sleep on a Sunday night, just waiting for the sun to come up and going in to face the pestering, the disappointment, the lack of support from friends, and sleep deprivation on top of it all.
Stay fabulous.
