Something that's been picking at me.
You know, I'm not perfect. No one is, not matter how much you try to be. And the constant "Oh I'm so innocent I'm not perfect I'm just a girl trying to live my dream" bullshit won't fly anymore. Have I paraded around TRYING to look perfect? Of course, did it work? Fuck no. But now I'm willing to admit to everyone that I'm not the best out there. I'm probably no good for you. But every day I hope that you'll find something worthwhile in me.
I'm tired of waiting for you to love me. I'll just love myself instead. Because that means so much more. It's going to take a while, but I am done. I'm not blonde. I could be skinnier. I don't have good skin. I swear too much. I laugh in awkward situations. I'm awkward in general. And not in an ironic hipster asshole way. I don't make peace signs in pictures or wear tacky fur vests. I don't dance and I refuse to wait around for a guy. I'm not afraid of being alone...and that's the best strength to have. I don't NEED a man. You are just a bonus to a life I make for myself. I hate putting myself out there when I don't feel like it. I'm not two faced and I don't lie. But that doesn't matter, because it's not what you obviously want. But I am me, and that's how I'm going to stay.
I don't pretend to know what's going on. I don't know shit about the world but I want to learn and go out there and work honestly and make something of myself ON MY OWN. I don't need a high profile boyfriend for that. It's all me. So if you're going to go out there and act like your shit don't stink, I'll be there, watching you and laughing. Because I DO know something you don't.
