For The Record.

Some people need to get off their high horses.

Britney Spears: For the Record. I identify with this so much but I don't mind. It's comforting to know someone out there has gone through something that looks like you may not recover from, but did. Does that make sense?

I'm starting to have faith in the right things. For the first time? Once again? I don't know. I think I was using "loyalty" and "friendship" but masked them with things that don't apply to me. Things that were/are meaningless. I don't know anymore. It's scary when what has been your rock for three years is suddenly ripped away. Or rather, pushed away. I made that leap and am floating somewhere in the middle. Somewhere between grounded in my reality and floating in someone else's. I just need something. Something that will tell me that this will be okay. That there is hope for something I once believe in so much to be restored. Blind faith is gone. It doesn't live here anymore. But maybe we can make do with something else, something more real and gritty but that showcases the beauty of the memories and youth. We can rise above it and say, "Okay, I see this now. This is real. This is how it is. I miss How It Used To Be, but This is how it is now. I will make you a deal. You keep consistenly trying to be better than you were before, and I will do the same. It is a give and take that we must, and will, find the balance of. It is a ride that we will go on together, and the things that will be produced will help each other through the good times and bad. This is us. the fan and the musician. What do you say?"