Looking back, I seemed like a really sad little person. You never realize just how bad it was until you start digging. It's shocking. I want to shake myself from a year ago...it all seems so trivial now. I was taking the wrong things seriously...I probably still do.
In the one moment, you try your best to be normal, to convince them of the oppostie of their expectations. You banish every previous thought you had of them in our head and just breathe. Speak in the moment. Anything you have practiced is gone. You are just you in that one moment. Nothing else. You are shy. You are polite. You make them laugh. And then it's over...and you want to go back.
