I don't even know what's going on here.^^The soundtrack to my life right now is Empires' Howl. It's lovely and it makes my ears and heart go :D
Tomorrow is The Day. I love that I still get excited for shows. The nervous energy is still there. You would think I wouldn't care by now. And I am more relaxed about shows, definitely. But with meet and greet, it's all kind of different. I'm excited and nervous and cynical. It's just another m&g, the next morning no one in the band could pick me out of a line up, and that sucks. But I want to enjoy the moment. What small moment I have, I'm grabbing because I know I probably won't get another chance. But in the back of my mind, the entire time, will be "God, why do we bother with gifts and letters and smiles? Panic at the Disco does NOT care about us. They hate their fans, this is just necessary to parties and drugs and money." I wish I was being dramatic. It's weird. But at the same time, I'm freaking out. What do I say, blah blah blah.
So I don't look like an idiot, I put everything I could ever say to them in the letters, or I'm going to. Kind of too lazy right now. Either I'll come off as a total freakshow or I'll have the impact I truly want, but that's what every fan wants. Wait...what? That sentence didn't make sense.
More thoughts later. If you care.
